The whys, whos, and hows.

Why monkey?

Why not dog or cat or platypus? Well, monkey is interesting. Monkey is unique. Monkey is simultaneously cute and grotesque, friendly and antagonistic, beneficient and plague-bearing. Monkey is very close to us as far as DNA goes (if you actually believe in all that hard science stuff), and yet we can convince him to catch his own hand in a cruel and painful trap with but a small piece of fruit, often rotten and swarming with maggots. I fear monkey, and this is an attempt to come to terms with that fear. Monkey is weak and I derive sick pleasure from ridiculing him and pointing out his flaws for all to see. Monkey throws his own feces for no apparent reason. I want to be monkey, and only through understanding monkey can I hope to achieve monkey bliss.

Any of these could be the reason why monkey. My answer?

Why not?