Pandemic Dreams Volume One

The following are three dreams that visited me in the nights following the beginning of our social-distancing adventure intended to fight the spread of the novel coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic that’s currently sweeping the globe. I don’t know if anything in these dreams is related to the pandemic, per se, but I like the title. Time will tell if I’ll be visited by any more pandemic dreams.


I had a dream that as my office was shutting down for the move to a new building, I was given the opportunity to take as many of the doorknobs as I wanted. While there was a party going on—a party much like our annual holiday shindig—I was walking around with hand tools removing doorknobs. I don’t know what I was planning to do with said doorknobs, but I was very pleased to have the opportunity to have them. At one point, as we were waiting in line for food, my wife saw boba tea and exclaimed “Ooh! Boba tea!”. It was a fun party.


I was walking in a field toward a giant stump, on a warm spring day (as one does in Texas). I was deep in conversation with the co-hosts of the Come and Take It podcast about the possibility of starting it up again; we’ve been home a lot lately, you see, conceivably making it easier to make the time to record. We were discussing a particular topic, whose exact nature escapes me, but I was adamant that I wouldn’t participate if it meant I had to record every week. The call ended (lamentably without resolution; I’ll never know if dream me will start podcasting again.), and before I put my phone away I called—I’m assuming—Dial-A-Jet™ to order up a personal F-14 flyby and stunt show. Moments later a jet was on station as they say, performing various feats of aerodynamic prowess for my personal enjoyment. I’d never seen an F-14 do a spinning tail stand thirty feet from the ground before. It was awesome.

Don’t Hitch Rides in the Trailered Boats of Strange Men

We were on the beach (tropical? Gulf Coast? Unknown.), taking a liesurely stroll. There was a moderate crowd, neither big nor small. Not sure how we got there, or the purpose of our visit, but my wife decided to hitch a ride back in a boat that was trailered rather than walk back to where we were staying. I walked back as planned; my wife didn’t show up. The details here get fuzzy, but I think I got a text message from my wife saying she’d been abducted. She didn’t know where she was. She was, however, convinced they were soon about to take her somewhere else (and confiscate her phone). I managed to Find My Wife using the app on my phone (not sure why she couldn’t use the same to find herself; thus is the logic of dreams). That got me into the neighborhood where she was held, a bunch of industrial warehouse-type buildings. My wife was no longer responding to texts; the situation was dire and I was starting to panic. I eventually pinpointed the location to a building, and went inside. I intercepted a group of people (just regular people, not thugs or sinister-looking types) escorting my wife to…somewhere else. She left with me, without any protestations or attempts to stop us, and we were able to relax and enjoy the rest of our evening. The End.

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