Pandemic Dreams Volume Four

Some day I’ll remember to put a notebook by my bed so I can capture some of these as soon as I wake up, thus retaining more details. Until then, here are several more pandemic dreams that stuck with me. Here’s the first collection, a second story that was pretty robust on its own, and the third installment.

Stop the Press!

I don’t recall the specific event, but I was helping SUAAB1at UTD manage and plan it; some kind of live stage show. There was a really poorly-designed graphic that was supposed to be sent out on flyers and posted online2direct-mailers to advertise the event, and I did not want to be associated with it. The graphic, not the event. I think the event (whatever it was) was going to be cool. The artwork was really bad. Some kind of faux psychadelic background and poorly-Photoshopped cut-outs of people on top of it. I’m not sure I could do justice in words to how bad it was. I made it a personal mission to visit the school office that administered the printing and mailing and force them to stop the press so this egregious affront to my graphic design sensibilities could be rectified. Alas, when I arrived, it was already too late. The image was out in the wild.

The Lamborghini Snare

I was attending a massive marching band festival. High schools from all over the country were participating. As usual at these type of events, there was a spectrum of equipment and uniforms on display, representing the disparity in size and funding between the larger and more wealthy schools and the smaller and poorer schools. (If you’re from Texas, you know the difference between a 3A school and a 5A+ school and what that means for a marching band’s resources.) Everyone was particularly in awe of the band with the trim black uniforms and their sleek matte black Lamborghini snare drums. The golden bull logo on the black shield was striking in that context, shining on the barrel of the drums.

The Case of the Dangling Van Mirror

I emerging from the monolithic building without any windows— a mall or office building or school…something like that. I walked to my minivan that was parked in the first row facing the building. It was night, and it may have either just rained or at least rained recently enough that all the pavement was wet and shiny. Like in a movie.

The driver’s side of the van wasn’t immediately accessible. There was a combination of a car parked really close on that side, and the driver of said car was about to back out of his space. It seemed like proper etiquette to give them space to complete their maneuver. I rounded the back of my van, and as the other driver was backing out and pulling away, I noticed the driver-side mirror of the van was hanging oddly. At first I thought it was because the car that just drove away had hit it, causing damage. As I got closer, I realized it was much, much worse.

Someone had stolen the entire front left fender/quarter panel/whatever-you-call-that-part of the van; everything from the front bumper to the door on the driver side. They left the headlight, thankfully, so I could drive home safely in the dark, but in the process of stealing that entire body panel they had mangled the driver-side mirror. I looked across the—driveway? Whatever you call the places/lanes in a parking lot that aren’t where you actually park—and saw there was an auto shop with a camera outside their roll-up door. I had the great idea that I would walk in there detective-style and demand to see their video footage to find out who had taken my fender. Since it was the middle of the night, however, it appeared nobody was there to let me in.

  1. Student Union Activities and Advisory Board. This was the office/student organization at UT Dallas that’s in charge of organizing student events like concerts, film festivals, parties, etc. 

  2. Pretty sure nothing was “online” during that time, unless you found it on USENET or Gopher (kids, ask an old nerd). 

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